A Time to Spend and a Time to Save
You know, the one thing that I haven’t yet figured out in life is how to spend money well.
Perhaps if, for the purpose of sharing, I try to round up my wayward thoughts on the topic, I’ll discover some clarity that I didn’t know I had.
That’s usually how things work, right? The answers are inside somewhere, just not realized yet?
I’m excited to explore and see what I learn.
I’ll be sharing three articles on this topic of spending money. The first (this one) is a story about a spending dilemma that I created for myself. The next one will explore the way things are- some current tendencies and questions. The third will address the way I want things to be- a perfectly developed philosophy about spending money that will make decisions about purchases super easy and stress-free for the rest of my life. (I haven’t written this one yet, but I’m sure excited to see what idealistic words will come out of me when I do.)
Back in November, while Christmas shopping with my sisters, I happened upon the loveliest perfume I’ve smelled for a long time.
(For those of you who know about my deep sadness regarding the discontinuation of the Capri Seaside Citrus scent from Bath and Body Works and are wondering if this new perfume could fill that void… No. Nothing will ever fill that void.)
This perfume was extremely me.
However, it was also extremely expensive.
When I say expensive, I don’t mean that it was a mind-blowing amount of money. Just more than a college student ought to be spending on perfume for herself while shopping for Christmas gifts, you know?
Although I left the perfume behind, it lingered with me. I’ve tested the scent twice since then, wanting to make sure that I love it as much as I thought I did. (I do! Thanks for asking.) The most recent time that I tested it, a salesperson caught me at it and asked if I would be interested in purchasing the travel-size version of the perfume.
Did I mention that this happened on my birthday?
If there ever is a day to splurge, it’s on your birthday!
I confidently said that yes, I wanted to do that. I felt really good about it too. But after several minutes of several employees searching, I was informed that they didn’t seem to have the travel-size in stock. However, they could mail it to me.
Cool! That was fine with me.
The person who was helping me explained everything to the cashier and told her that I was ordering the travel-size. She showed her the exact product that I wanted. Things seemed to be going really well.
Somehow, the total cost of what I was purchasing never showed up before I tapped my phone, and I did not ask about the cost of the what I was ordering because I had looked into the travel-size before and knew how much it cost. But a few minutes after leaving the store, when I opened my email receipt, I realized that I had apparently just purchased the full-size version and spent triple the money that I expected to.
I felt sad about the miscommunication and also frustrated at myself for not verifying the cost at any point in the process.
Although I knew that I was going to need to return the perfume once it arrived, I dabbled with thoughts of keeping it.
A couple days later, it arrived at my door.
The package sat on the table for a few hours before I opened it.
A faint whiff of the scent came from the package as I pulled the boxed perfume out.
And just like that…
I decided to keep it. If I was going to purchase it at some point anyways, why did it really matter if it was now or later?
Unwrap the plastic, unbox the perfume.
Just like that…
Mine!
I spritzed some on my wrist and breathed in.
Hmmmm.
I smelled it again- this time an obnoxious sniff replacing my initial deep breath of anticipation.
It smelled… different than I expected.
Maybe it just needed to be shaken?
I shook it vigorously and sprayed it into the air.
I could almost kind of convince myself that it was the scent I wanted it to be, but it was just… too heavy. Too spicy.
I checked the packaging. It was definitely the eau de toilette and not the perfume. The box said so. This was supposed to be what I wanted!
Perhaps I had poisoned the scent by so thoroughly overthinking the entire thing? Could that be possible? I felt the full weight of the situation hit me. I had just spent significantly more money that I intended to on a scent that I apparently didn’t even like.
It was not a good moment.
I kept returning to the perfume all afternoon, smelling it and trying to turn it into the scent that I wanted it to be. It bothered me so much that eventually, I did some research and found out that there were two versions of the eau de toilette- the regular one and the “fraiche” one. The fraiche is was the one I wanted, but I had been sent the regular one.
AHA!
I felt quite proud of my nose for being able to detect the difference.
And now I had a really good reason to return it even though I had opened it, because it was definitely the error of the employee who ordered it, since she had been shown the exact product that I wanted.
I printed the return slips and packaged up that perfume with gusto, feeling really good about the way things were turning out.
Later that evening, I was meandering around the Poshmark app, when what should I see in my feed but the EXACT scent that I wanted!
There it was- in all its still-packaged, half-priced glory.
I felt half-giddy and half-angry.
Why did I have to keep deciding whether or not to buy this stupid perfume?
Half-price?
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT?
I added it to my cart and decided to update Ricky on the latest development on the perfume situation.
He was playing chess online at the time.
He listened to my tale (HALF-PRICE, RICKY! HALF-PRICE!) before distractedly and delicately saying, “I guess I don’t quite understand why you need to buy it right now?” as he moved a chess piece.
Well.
Something about that sobered me right up.
How many times had I already decided that I didn’t need to buy the perfume right now?
Why was I still dancing with the idea of buying it?
I did not buy it, and that feels very right for right now.
It is inevitable that I will purchase this perfume at some point. Its irresistibility is in the fact that it feels like something about it embodies some part of my identity. As an enneagram four, I can only resist this for so long. The question is not if I will purchase this, but rather when I will purchase it.
This story is a little clunky and a little embarrassing to tell, because now you know that I can care a lot about something frivolous like perfume. I tell it because I feel like it is a solid portrayal of the lostness that I sometimes feel when it comes to spending money on personal purchases. I don’t think it would necessarily have been wrong for me to purchase and keep the perfume that I wanted. In this case, what made it feel wrong was that we had had other expenses and purchases recently, and when it came down to it, the perfume just wasn’t a priority.
My spending tendencies when it comes to “extra” purchases swing between stinginess and extravagance. The instability of that can be exhausting. (Lest I be too hard on myself, I think that I do make a lot of balanced and reasonable financial choices as well.)
This whole perfume situation is not really about whether or not we literally have the money to afford extra purchases like this. I’m more concerned with how I handle our money. It feels important to me to spend time thinking about my current habits are and to define the values that I have when it comes to spending money. I want to spend confidently and save joyfully, and to do both with a grateful and generous heart.
I have so much to learn, and I’d love to hear what wisdom you have gained through your experiences!
Have you splurged on anything recently? (I hope so! You deserve it!) I’d love to hear about it!
Have you ever chosen not to spend on something you wanted (but didn’t NEED)? Were you grateful or did you regret not purchasing?
How do you gage when it’s a good time to indulge yourself by purchasing something you’ve been eyeing?
Is spending money ever a complicated thing for you? Do you tend to approach purchases with your head or your heart?
This post made me chuckle. I will hold on to my 1/16th full bottle of Capri Seaside Citrus lotion just for the sniffs, until it evaporates.