EA Things
A compilation of moments and questions from my first year as an educational assistant
If I crouch down
To the eye level of a kindergartener,
He will sometimes smile into my eyes and sing me a song.
Eeeee yoooo eee-yoooo-eee-yooooooo!
Knees aching,
I sing along.
//
We ponder
How to help a little friend.
“Maybe we could put cheerios in the toilet?”
And you know,
It’s not a bad idea.
Not bad at all.
//
Drop of water on his shirt?
Shirt
MUST
COME
OFF.
He dances around the classroom.
“Naked!” the other kids point and declare.
“Not naked. He still has pants on!” I say,
Crossing my fingers and praying that the
Pants stay on.
//
When you put your feet up on the table in defiance and
I offer you something you love to motivate you to put them down,
Am I smartly redirecting or
Am I rewarding you for poor behaviour?
//
I am drowning.
When I’m not a favourite,
I feel insecure but
When I am a favourite,
I feel bad for the one who isn’t.
I am drowning in myself.
There is enough love for everyone
There is enough love for everyone
There is enough love for everyone.
….
Is there enough love for everyone?
//
Sand grating, gold melting
Am I dying or being purified?
I can’t tell.
//
If you chant the rhyme “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed”
Five times in a row as a student tirelessly reenacts the plot,
Should you just have started out with “Twenty-five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed”?
So many monkeys,
Every day.
//
Sin:
When my eyes are closed to what they are telling me they need,
When I deprive them of the thoughtful and brave support they deserve,
When I only help half-way,
When I don’t see the human behind the behaviour,
When I’m too intimidated to stand up for them.
//
You come to me,
You take my hands,
You look into my eyes,
And you say,
“Hello?”
You do this two days in a row.
Hello,
My honey bunny.
Hello.
//
Do I only love people
When they do what I think they should?
//
I keep a mental list of
The people I have cried to about my job
In the past four weeks.
Six kind people have borne my tears.
This is not like me,
to cry and cry and cry.
Just to think about
Being with my students
and then
Being without them for the summer,
To think of their loves and their struggles,
Brings tears to me.
I feel
Tender
Delicate
Unhinged.
//
Before I know it,
You’ve climbed me like I am a tree
And you are the little monkey nestled in my arms.
You and I
We
Are our own chaotic little ecosystem.
I’ve never been loved like this before.
You have remade me.
//
