Mmmm… the start of a new year! I do enjoy the “fresh slate” feel of January. I’m trying to learn to slow down and take time to reflect on the previous year before diving into planning for the new year. I’m going to share a few of my reflections here, guided by three prompts (what worked, what didn’t work, and what I need more of next year) from Emily P. Freeman’s “Ten Questions for the End of Your Year.”
What worked?
Latte Art
I really enjoyed making lattes and attempting to make latte art! It was a consistently fun and simple part of my day. It still feels more like luck than skill when I manage to create something that can be identified as anything other than a blob, but I’ve come a long way and I’m excited to keep experimenting!
Purchasing a bigger table and screen
We purchased a big screen and a big(ger) table, and both of them have proven to be great decisions for us. The screen has been used for much lovely listening and watching, and the larger table has allowed for some much-needed wiggle room when we have guests over for a meal.
Cooking and baking
I had a lot of fun cooking and baking this year. It felt like my confidence in my ability to make delicious food blossomed. It’s not that I have not had any culinary flops this year! I have. But I’ve learned that I care about preparing simple, nourishing food deliciously and beautifully. This confidence been an interesting shift for me to process. Like, even though I KNOW I’m capable of producing something delicious, my mind still defaults to stress and uncertainty around the process of making the food. I think it will just take time to reroute some of those engrained thought processes.
Taking my time with a project
I have this ongoing writing project that I’ve been working on for at least a couple of years now. Until recently, I felt a little annoyed at myself for not being able to figure out the shape of this project sooner. I mean, I’m on draft three. How many drafts are there going to be, Jasmine? Hmmm? I have had a general sense of needing to wrap this project up. Recently, after finishing draft three, I began to question why I was feeling that urgency. There is literally no deadline. It’s been an enjoyable project to return to. Each draft brings it a little closer to what my vision for it is. I return to each draft a wiser human, with more to weave into the story and a clearer vision for the direction of the project. So what’s my rush? Perhaps it’s okay to just… enjoy this.
A sleep playlist
Fall 2024 was a difficult time for me and I regularly found myself caught up in racing thoughts and struggling to fall asleep. To combat this, I made myself a sleep playlist and IT WORKED. Kind and true lyrics with gentle music… what a gift! Here’s a link, in case you want to try out the playlist for yourself: Music to sleep to.
What didn’t work?
The level of anxiety I felt about not feeling well
I have been dealing with some ongoing physical yuckiness since last spring and I have not always handled it well. It’s natural for health concerns to cause anxiety but I learned that instead of just settling into that anxiety, I need to find ways to acknowledge the concerns, name the emotions/messages that are showing up alongside them, and then choose a balanced response to the situation. It has been an exercise in trust, as well. Trusting in my body, trusting in God, trusting in medical professionals. Trusting in Reddit… not so much.
No social media
I wanted to experiment with giving up social media entirely for a year because I tend to do better with cutting things out entirely rather than trying to use them in moderation. It didn’t feel like a particularly useful exercise, because I simply found other ways to wander around digitally. Also, from previous experiments, I already knew that I don’t really miss the content on social media, I just miss using it to fill chunks of time. That sounds terrible. But the truth is that I usually am a rather tired human, and in 2024 I was an extra-tired human and did not muster the energy to use my extra time in creative ways. So I took social media away, but didn’t replace it with anything particularly life-giving, and it just felt like a bit of a blah experiment. This year, I’m going to try limiting Instagram use to Saturdays.
A berry-scented candle
How many times have I vowed to never buy a candle that has any sort of berry in its scent profile? Berry scents are just too sweet for my preferences. I KNOW THIS. And yet… at the end of November I found myself at a Christmas market buying a candle called Winter Cranberry. Reader, I should not have bought it. Never again! (But I’ve said that before.)
My job
I have always had complex feelings about working as an educational assistant. I had many concerns and hesitations about filling the role, but also really wanted to be the kind of person who is willing to work through the hard things, laugh about the crazy things, recognize and release the things are out of my control, and find joy in the beautiful things. I feel like I have been able to do those things at different points in this journey, but this fall, I lost that ability and things felt overwhelming. I simply did not have the capacity to handle what I used to be able to handle. I suspect this shift had a lot to do with the weariness from dealing with my physical health issues. I resigned from my permanent position and am back on the supply list. It has been difficult and prompted a lot of uncertainty, shame, and sadness. I am trying to learn to be gentle with myself in this area. And in all areas.
What do I need more of next year?
I need more focus.
I don’t often choose a “word of the year” but the theme that has emerged when I consider what I hope for in 2025 seems to be focus. This word covers a lot of ground for me.
I want to exercise my ability to choose what to focus on mentally. Am I cycling through negative or fearful thoughts, or am I feeding positivity and hope? Am I focusing on the past or future, rather than focusing on the present and what next step I can take?
I want to improve my actual ability to focus on what I’m doing when I’m enjoying some free time. This means setting my phone out of reach and really settling into a book (maybe even one that challenges my brain a little), a writing project, practicing a song on the piano for a few minutes, or even- shudder- playing a game. It means leaning into some practices that take focus, like prayer and meditation. It means not googling every single little question or thought that crosses my mind when I’m in the middle of doing something else.
I want to also turn my focus outside of myself. Some ways I’m considering doing this in 2025 are volunteering somewhere, donating blood, and contributing to food pantries around our neighbourhood.
In conclusion…
2024 was a difficult year, with so much loveliness and grace along the way. It held many moments of fear and uncertainty, followed by the lightness of hope and love. I am excited to see what adventures and joys 2025 will hold!
What about you? What worked, what didn’t work, and what do you hope for more of in 2025?
It's so good to hear from you, Jasmine. I'm so sorry about the physical issues. ❤️ Your playlist looks wonderful and you know what? Focus is my word this year too. And I don't normally do word of the year either. Blessings, friend.